When Hearts Break
The end of a relationship + some positive news
Greetings to all,
Grieving the end of a relationship is just as heart-breaking at the death of a loved one. It’s the end of something that had once been very special.
How do you reconcile two different points of view? One was dreaming of “getting old together” while the other decided that it was “time to move on?”
More often than not, couples do NOT fight over what’s happening in the present. They filter everything through past events that marked their psyche (unless they worked on the depotentiation of the past), and see everything through that filter.
What I see at its source is the lack of meaningful conversations. The important word here is “meaningful.” When we keep rehashing past problems, they get reinforced in our brain wiring. They also get distorted. Did you know that a memory does not stay stagnant… unless it’s kept untouched?
Just ask a family to recall an event: it will be seen in different lights from different angles.
There was as study done with college students. They had to write down in a journal events that were happening in their lives. Journals were collected. Ten years later, they were asked about the event. They could not believe what they had written, as over the ten years, the event had been transformed in their brain. Same event with parts added, parts deleted and parts mixed with other stories.
Beware of false memories: the brain is amazing… and can construct “true” events from what has happened, mixed with things heard from other people that we appropriate as our own, and even experiences viewed in a movie.
I understand why attorneys say that “we can’t trust witnesses.” Everything we see and hear is being filtered through our own emotional background. No two people have the same emotional brain map.
Child abuse marks a person. The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) study shows that:
The more ACEs a person experiences, the greater the likelihood of negative outcomes in adulthood.
ACEs are linked to a range of negative health outcomes, including chronic diseases, mental health problems, and substance abuse.
Childhood trauma can have a lasting impact on physical and mental health, even into old age.
How do you deal with it?
Some 50+ years ago, as I started taking courses in psychology, psychoanalysis was in fashion. The client would spend one hour weekly, for some 7 to 10 years on the psychoanalyst’s couch. Maybe, a person would find out why they had an issue, yet NOT resolve it. I was told it worked for 25% of the people. 25% would get worse and 50% would have no change. Not a great statistic!
What is coming to light is that talk therapy does not really work to solve problems.
There has been so many advances in the understanding of how the mind-brain works that most people are unaware of.
Lately, with the advent of neuroscience, brain plasticity and energy psychology, the impact of disturbing and/or awful memories that ruin our lives today can be removed, in a few sessions, if not in an hour. We may still remember what happened, yet we will NOT suffer the emotional impact of the events.
If you’d like to know more, check my website and/or contact me.
Some good news: I’ve listen to Foster Gamble for years. He is realistic and optimistic. He looks at what’s happening and how things are turning around.
Here is his fractal hologram of good news.
Do you think the jab was safe and effective? Here is a short clip on how many boosters we may need.
I am in St. Louis, Missouri, at the Heartland Hypnosis conference, where I’ll talk about the power of dialoguing with our Inner Wisdom. I will attend some of the other presenters’ shows as well.
That’s it for now, as I want to go over my notes, get my roommate at the airport and prepare for the evening’s opening reception .
We live in fascinating times. so
LIVE with PASSION, PURPOSE and DELIGHT!
Danielle